Stress

It's very often that people are pushed to their limits. However, not very often when they are asked to cross their limits of endurance. Mental as well as physical. I've done both. It seemed to me, that by repeatedly pushing myself, one step at a time, I would adapt myself to the stressors. Interestingly, I did function, did perform very well, I did live, to tell the tale...A similar problem is faced by everyone in their lives, to a lesser degree of severity than those with a mental illness. The problem is of a lesser severity. The outcome might not be. You see, I was forced to deal in a very short and tormenting span of time to learn that the necessity of realizing my limitations, and more importantly accepting the same, and of course working accordingly, was the opposite of being detrimental for my survival skills. Repeated stress had, as Soaring Heights clarified for me, weakened my ability to withstand the same.

"Time", I always said, "is against me". And I feel I'm not alone. Prioritizing is the only way to work life out your own way. I would have been very happy, had I had the incentive of a lavish life, to work out every scientific experiment myself till I derived the formulae of air resistance, proved that time is relative, worked on quantum chaos, made the C++ compiler, and on and on...However, as I said, "Time is against me", and the odds of living a life you want to live are bleak when you try to push yourself a bit too hard just to live up to somebody else's expectation. Of course, yes yes, there is a point I really missed out over here. What if that someone else's expectation is your own new expectation? What if you want to be there, do that, and live that? Then the question I must ask you is, "Is that quest on a higher priority, or is your health and happiness?" Again, what if that quest is your happiness? Fine with me. But this is what I asked myself time and again, which is a bit over the edge for most, but worked for me, "What will you do of a quest when you are dead?"

What really keeps me happy is that I know I'm giving it my best shot. And that I can still go on for more, at my own pace.