Smoke-free

2 weeks!!! gawd! thats a really long time. I should write more often. But these college assignments, as Soaring Heights said, have really been keeping me busy. Finished submitting three more assignments today and have to start preparing for exams for next week. I have quit smoking since I last wrote. (Once again, yes. But hopefully forever.) I've been noticing how the urge to smoke keeps on going up and down. Whenever I start getting tense, start losing hope, feel a bit low that is, my breathing pattern changes. One of the main reasons I smoke is to get my breathing pattern back in shape, which, I feel would lift me off the depression. Effective to some extent, as in yoga, but ultimately a killer. I keep on telling myself as to how long will I depend on cigarettes, how long can I be dependent when I want to be free. How many more excuses, how many more reasons to slip back into that cycle where there is no permanent relief. How far can I go from there? So, in the past few days, when I've been stressed, I've been talking to myself, battling myself, breathing, trying to understand the reason for the stress rather than seeking an escape, and with success. This is the same reason why psychotherapy is administered. It is given to make the person realize the reason for what is happening within and around herself or himself from an altogether unknown perspective, to bring insight and hence, ultimately, relief through gradual acceptance. Interestingly, I was never administered psychotherapy even when I pleaded once, for the simple reason that I was in no state to believe anything besides my viewpoint, such is the state in schizophrenia.

Anyways, here's to a happy and healthy start to a smoke-free future. And here's the end to this short post. (I may again write late next week once I'm over with my exams. So the keyboard is all yours Soaring Heights :)