On abusive relationships

Lately I have been giving a lot of ponder to the reasons why some people keep getting into abusive romantic relationships. Its almost like they aren't able to gauge the the emotional tendencies of the other person...

I think that while every relationship has the potential to turn abusive, there might be certain signs that help ascertain whether this potential might be actualized. For one, the power dynamics in abusive relationships are covertly tilted towards one partner over the course of time. Demands made from and restrictions placed on a significant other emanating from feelings of suspicion or low self-esteem but cloaked in the guise of love serve to thwart the independence of the significant other. This in turn leads to emotional stifling and a constant fear related to displeasing the partner. Communication patterns might eventually be spiked by covert hostility, distrust, and lack of respect for the partner. I consider mutual respect as the mark of a healthy relationship, and if that is violated in any manner, then any potential positives of the relationship are beyond my comprehension. This lack of respect might be manifested by dismissing the significant other's opinions, frequent criticism and derision for their actions, and failing to take the other person's opinions into account while making a decision about the relationship, among other things. In fact. these tell-tale signs can sometimes become so glaringly obvious to a neutral observer that you would often wonder why the relationship still continues. Is it merely because the two people have become so used to this abusive pattern so that they don't realize it for themselves and break out of it? Or might it be possible that there is awareness of things gone awry, but adjusting to an alternative way of being seems tedious and unreal?

Any relationship ideally adds more dimensions to a person's life. But this addition would be possible only if there already exists a sufficiently strong base of self-assurance. To wish for another person to weave the magic wand and fill the emotional voids you possess could well turn out to be a wish gone horribly wrong. For both of you.