These elusive states of mind

Wow! It's never happened before that I didn't even see, or just forgot soaringheights tell me that she put up a new post, and that too last year ;) Well my exams got over on the fourth of Jan this year. A lot has happened since then. My movie watching spree has reached unprecedented levels. One movie that I would really love to mention is 'The Wall'. For those of you wondering out there, it is this movie containing the whole soundtrack of The Wall album by Pink Floyd. Soaringheights told me, having heard herself from others, that it is a very Boring movie! Well, that definitely came as a surprise as she is a huge fan of Pink Floyd. This movie, I would say, really shook me up to the core (well it made a few tears roll down too!). It portrays immensely intense post-traumatic stress symptoms, psychotic symptoms, emotional blunting, diminished physical pain, and dampened libido. Viewed over the extent of the whole movie, it would seem to be, as was to soaringheights, a portrayal of highly negative memories and experiences. How, she questioned me, can a person be so negative for such a long period. I remarked that this is the way how my acute stages of psychosis were - all these hours of negative portrayal packed into a mere 5 minutes. These states cannot be justified within these 5 minutes on the screen!

I recently had to appear for a campus placement interview, and I was putting my heart and soul into it. I cleared the written and extempore round. In the technical interview, the interviewer was very impressed with my CV and with my performance in that round, but told me that I had too many backlogs and he was sorry. Life sure isn't fair, and I know that. I did spiral into a mood swing with mild hallucinations with the accumulated stress, after a month of being symptom free. College has started, trying to take it slow and easy. Trying to make it through.